If you know me in real life and someday I turn into my mother? Well, then here are your marching orders:
Shoot me.
In less than 24 hours Mom:
- Managed to drive me crazy by showing me things like an e-mail she got showing a new travel carry-on suitcase. This was so I won't have to pay to take suitcases on a plane. (Um? I travel for WORK?! It doesn't come out of my pocket.) And now I feel bad about being irritated by this.
- Made me feel bad for only staying Friday night to just before dinner on Saturday (even though if I stayed longer I would miss Father's Day brunch with my husband).
- Told Eldest that she was going to treat Eldest like Harry, my three-year-old nephew. Why? Oh because Eldest was being dramatic. As if that's unusual for a teenager. And this was just moments after I suggested to Mom that she remember to take the higher ground and not pick fights with the teenagers. (Yeah, Eldest bit her head off, chewed it up and spit it out of the kitchen floor--so then I had to chew-out Eldest. But the truth is, my Mom started it.)
- Managed to remind me how perfect her children are (meaning my brother and me) and how certain people (mainly those who have been divorced or come from divorced families--like my sister-in-law) are not good enough for us . . . or to use her words, we were just "raised differently", we "come from different stuff". When she starts in on this judgmental crap, I want to run screaming from the room. She's her own form of bigot. "Snob" is the word.
- Managed to make me feel guilty because Eldest did not bring clothes for Mass and so asked if she "had to" go to Mass. (I told Eldest to bring church clothes.)
- Questioned me (while pretended not to) about my brother's marital situation. (Um, yeah. My mom raised "one of those people". You know the kind, the ones that get *whispering* divorced.)
- Became weepy when I described a February girls-weekend to her because, "I just don't know what's going on in your life anymore." OMFG. Maybe that's because I can't stand to talk to her because all I get is judgment, judgment, judgment. And it's usually not about me . . . but my kids, my friends, my husband. BLAH. I've just had it.
- Caused me to wince horribly when she was just plain nasty to my father because he didn't know where he was supposed to drive her. She hadn't been even remotely clear about where we were going. Her very vague directions involved telling him to turn the wrong direction and then referencing some business that used to exist 30+ years ago. When he didn't remember that location and told her so, she hissed, "Oh yes you do. You went there all the time. That's where we're going." I really don't know how he can stand it.
- Made me feel guilty for failing to call her when I got home.
You know, I used to really like my mom. We used to be close. But she just breaks my heart and makes me want to run away every time I see her. At least she didn't ask me to find a job where I can "slow down" on this trip.
**big sigh**
It's the sad house.
2 comments:
Ack. Ack. and ARRGGHH!
Dream responses... cuz I am a bitch that way, you know?
1. Moms is so helpful aren't they?
2. No comment. How about I didn't even call my dad on Father's Day. But I did send a present.
3. So does she know Eldest at all?!? I would love to have heard Eldest's response.
4. Again, what would she think of me?
5. Fairly clever of eldest to "Oops, how could I have forgot my clothes?"
6. I am picturing a blank stare in response.
7. Tell her you know you told her. Ask her if you should you be be concerned that she is starting to forget things? (My mom has old timers disease and is deaf. Comes in very handy.)
8. Your dad is a saint. I would have said, "You are right. I forgot just to piss you off." (ok no I wouldn't have, but I would have wanted to.)
9. My mom doesn't even ask anymore. Cuz I won't call. And she doesn't want to worry.
I think the problem is that you are far too good of a daughter and person... and you have spoiled her.
I think the problems are that:
1. I am too damned ingrained with the Catholic guilt shit.
2. I am now one pissed off "too good of a daughter and person" (which I am NOT, but apparently made her think I was) and the old "too good of a daughter and person" isn't coming back.
3. She's not dealing well with the crap from her own mother. (See #1.)
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