teenangster tv

I watched a new show with the chickadees last night. It was The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I'm not going to tell you it was great TV. If you don't have a teenager or aren't looking at a near future with a teenager, I wouldn't recommend it. (It was nice of you to stop by, come by again soon!)

As for the rest of you, you should think about watching this show with your teens. It's one of those shows that brings up just about every possible touchy topic. But, since it's doing it with fictionalized characters, it's a good conversation starter.

For instance, one of the debates last night was whether oral sex is sex. **sigh** I haven't taken that one on yet.

But the biggest topic last night was teen pregnancy . . . how do you tell your parents . . . do you tell the boy . . . etc. Having seen Juno with Eldest (15), I've already had the opportunity to discuss a lot of these issues with her. However, this was the first opportunity for such discussions with Younger (13). She was appalled that (a) I tried to talk to her and (b) that kids who are only a year older than her are having sex. (Can I get a rousing cheer for her current state of innocence? Yippee!!! I strongly advise raising kids to be geeks or jocks! It just takes off sooo much social pressure. Well. Errrr. Maybe it postpones the issues for awhile. But dealing with it in high school is better than sixth grade, right?)

Anyhow, our conversation ended up going something like this:

Younger:

(with eye-roll and serious indignity in her voice)

MOoooOM! I'm not having sex until I'm married so we Don't. Need. To. Discuss. This!

Me:

(after the silent cheering section in my head had quieted)

That's great! I support you. I would like it if you waited until you were married.

If you ever change your mind, let me know.

Eldest:

Younger, that's not very realistic. The likelihood you'll get through college, or even high school, without having sex is pretty small.

Me:

**contemplating murder but recognizing the reality of what Eldest said follows logically from what I said**

Younger

**looking absolutely shocked at her sister as she contemplates the possibilities of what Eldest and Boyfrondo might do**

(I could actually see this whole thought process on her face.)

Eldest:

Seriously, Younger, I used to think that same way too. And I'm still going to wait until college. But Mom is great to talk to about this stuff. She won't make you feel bad.

Me

**Doing a mental "phew" and feeling pretty ok about the fact that I've got these girls who at least feel comfortable talking to me. But nonetheless I was still wondering if there is boy-less island we can move to.**

Now I realize my views aren't universally accepted on this point. Some people may think I'm just enabling them or giving them permission to have sex. I just saw too many girls get pregnant in high school or right out of high school. Only a few were brave enough to carry the babies to term. Many, many more had abortions. And I've seen friends struggling with their pregnant daughters. I can see they are heartsick.

So I've decided that for ME and my family, it was more important to be open and discuss the issues. I want to be available to help them make the right choices and, if they are going to make a choice to become sexually active, to protect themselves the best way possible. We teach our kids how to handle everything in their lives up until a certain age. Then . . . wham . . . when they are most difficult and facing some of the toughest decisions of their lives . . . many people to just chose to stay ignorant of what their teens are doing. I've had people say that they actively choose not to know what's going on. Everyone has to do it their own way. I feel that I have to continue to teach my kids; even when the topic is really, really tough.

If you happen to be of a like mind, I'd recommend that you watch this new tv show with your teens.

Oh, and if you know of a boy-less island . . . please leave a comment.

Today, it's a teen house--one of the MTV Real World houses . . .