lolling iii

Hey everybody get up. We have to hit the road early again.

Just a warning. I am a crab. Actually, let's just be honest, today I am a bitch.
Yes, you have to shower. You're still covered in chlorine from yesterday. No, I don't give a crap about what you wear today. What? No, I don't know where your white flip flop is. Just LOOK and find it.

Yes, we'll be in the car most of the day. See this map?
We will start in mid-Wisconsin, drive to Green Bay to run an errand--which is why I'm a crab--and then up and around the northern shore of Lake Michigan to the point on the bottom of the northern peninsula, across a gigantic bridge between the two peninsulas and spend the night in Mackinaw City on the northern edge of the southern peninsula. Just west of where the map says Cheboygan. (Isn't that a cool word? Cheboygan. Cheboygan. Cheboygan.)

HEY, did you hear me say I'm a crab today. Yeah? Well quit pushing my buttons, kay? Just get ready. Be fast, be quiet and no one will get hurt.

Why am I a crab you say? Easy. I am being reminded of my screw-up today. It's messing with our travel schedule. It means that the full-day of driving we have will take more time, cutting down on what we were going to do this afternoon.

What screw up? Ah. Yes. I left that out of Thursday's retrospective, didn't I?
You see, Sunday night we are attending a formal dinner and dance. I, in an astounding move of brilliance, left all three formal dresses (Eldest's, Younger's and mine) hanging in my bedroom. Car-man, seeing my devastation and knowing that without the dresses we are truly screwed, offered to just let us go shop for new ones. This was sweet (19 years of marriage prepared him well), but it's an unrealistic option. Ignoring the fact that we are talking about $500 or more in dresses, can you imagine how long it would take three females to find acceptable dresses, that fit with no need for alteration, that would match the shoes, purses and jewelry that we happen to have along with us? We'd be lucky to handle that in 8 hours of shopping in the world's largest mall. And let me tell you, Wisconsin Dells does not appear to have even a decent small mall. So that option is out of the question.

What did I do? I called my brother who luckily had a business trip cancel and is back at home. I explained to him how to get into the house, disarm the alarm, find the dresses, etc. After much angst, we've managed to find a place in Green Bay (2.5 hours from the Dells) where he could FedEx the dresses for Saturday delivery. Oh, and the FedEx charge? $126. Nice. But cheaper than three new dresses. Of course they'll have to be pressed before they will be wearable. *sigh*

The only saving grace is that Car-man once made a MUCH bigger vacation blunder. In the summer of 2002, we went to California on vacation. On the last day of our trip, a Sunday, we were preparing to go home. As we were leaving for the airport, I pulled out the plane tickets to check on some detail and discovered the tickets were for Saturday . . . the day BEFORE. We had missed our flight by 24 hours. So we had to buy four one-way plane tickets. This was 2002, less than 12 months after 9/11. Can you imagine the security situation we triggered buying FOUR one-way plane tickets less than two hours before the flight? They practically strip searched all four of us. The chickadees were positively traumatized as their stuffed animals and backpacks were prodded and investigated and sniffed by dogs. Oh, and the cost of that little mistake? Let's just say I never asked. I let him keep the magnitude of the mistake to himself. So my $126 mistake and 2.5 hour side-trip will be overlooked. But it still irks the shit out of me. Today is just one huge reminder of what kind of an idiot I am.

After Green Bay, the drive is very pretty. Lot's of it is right along the shore of Lake Michigan, or by the lakeside houses. I've seen Lake Michigan from Chicago before, but never driven around it. This is a damn big lake.

I spend the whole day humming Gordon Lightfoot's The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald (yeah, I know that was Lake Superior, but that doesn't mean I can stop the friggin' song in my head).And for you young 'uns out there? This song was #2 on the Billboard pop charts in November 1976, when I was 10. It's hard to say whether I loved this song or Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle" more. Yeah, I was into touchy-feely folk music in the mid-70's.

Then disco happened.

I'm lucky punk saved my soul.

But I digress. Check out this bridge we're driving over.

Car-man, why are you sweating? What? This five-mile bridge, floating 522 feet above the water, is makes you nervous? I love it when you show me your vulnerable side, you big ole' lug!

Did you know that because this bridge makes so many people nervous, there are actually people available who will drive across for you? It is seriously nerve-wrecking. Half of the deck of the bridge is a grate. Yeah. As in, you can see through it.

Also, did you notice? Darcy has been a gentleman today. He didn't pick a single fight with Car-man. Wish I could say that for Problem Girl and Literal Dan. They've been bickering all day.

And truly, I appreciate the way the rest of you have been quiet in the back of minijoyvan. That DVD system is a lifesaver. But I'm quite serious, if you don't have your summer reading done by the end of this trip, you are GROUNDED. I don't care if you don't like the books, you've got assignments due on the first day of school and you've got to finish those books!

Thank God. We've finally arrived in Mackinaw City just in time for dinner and a little sightseeing. Here's our house for the night:

Toodles.