Sunday, December 4, 2011

this week in history

This week is full of anniversaries, ghosts and memories.

Twenty-four years ago today, I had my first date with Wasband.  That was, of course, a good thing . . . back then.  Today, that memory kind of sticks in my throat.  It sticks like a sickly, overly sweet cookie bar . . . the kind that gags you with sweetness.  The one that you know is going to sit in your stomach and you're really going to wish you hadn't eaten it.

Historical House
Twelve months ago today I called a lawyer and said, "It's time.  We'll file after the first of the year."  I did not realize the coincidence in dates until just now.

From there on, the anniversaries of this week will get worse . . . all from last year.  The day Wasband raged in the basement calling me a "f'ing bitch," loud enough that the children could hear.  The day Eldest was hospitalized with a seven-day migraine, that day Wasband accidentally discovered I wanted a divorce.  (I have a feeling I will write out that story later this week.)  The day Wasband stood outside the guest bedroom door (and also Eldest's bedroom door) and said things no father should ever say.  This coming Friday will be one-year since the day Wasband packed his things and tried to leave without being discovered.  He tried to move out without sitting down with me and telling the girls we were splitting.  Instead, Eldest discovered him rummaging in the liquor cabinet, suitcase next to him, guilty look on his face.

Future house
So this week in history, is not the best week of my personal history.  Nonetheless, I am happy this year.  I am in a good place.  I have discovered love again (and yes, that is another post, isn't it?)  I feel like celebrating the holiday season this year.  And I haven't felt like celebrating since about 2007 . . . maybe 2006.

While the history of this week may not be full of warm fuzzies, the present is good and I'm sure the future will be even better.

14 comments:

That gentleman's lady said...

Here's to hoping that when you look back several years from now, this week will also have some wonderful memories.

Here's to hoping you'll add to your layers :) hugs miss.

Wasband needs a reality check. And perhaps being hung out to dry on a clothesline...

tera said...

I so wish we lived closer - I would love to take you out for a "here's to the new year" drink. Or three. But no driving. Secret Agent Man can drive. :)
I wish you all the best, and that hopefully Wasband will get a clue in his Christmas stocking.
ha!

Bijoux said...

Glad that things are looking brighter for you.

T said...

Hugs for bad memories and experiences. But I am so happy for you that things are moving in a better and happier direction. Love you!

Tiny Dancer said...

Hmmm, seems to be a week for thinking about the beginnings of relationships. I'm so glad you are in a better place. I look forward to catching up and can't wait to hear about love in your life. So wonderful & necessary! Sorry I have been absent so long. Nice to visit again.
lots of love!

Susan said...

I've missed you! Literally. I owe you a phone call from our near meeting in Fville. Glad to hear you're moving in a positive direction. Muah!

Kara said...

I'm stealing a line a read on another blog, but it fits - "Everything begins with an undoing." I hope you'll one day look back at this anniversary with good memories of the time when everything changed for the better.

Dibs said...

So glad you are in a good place and so sorry you had to go through such a dark place to get there. Here's to a terrific 2012!

Mrs. Tuna said...

New beginnings are always a good thing. Making your own choices and directions.

Monica said...

Then here's to a new year and more new beginings!

Only look on the past to learn not to dwell.

Loves to you

Vodka Mom said...

and guess what? I'm in about the same place as you.



and life is damn good...

Vodka Mom said...

we are strong women, great role models for our children, and basically we kick ass.


That's all I'm sayin'.

Irish Gumbo said...

You need to write again, and soon. Please?

jamee said...

X a a