paling...at the mommy wars

This morning, the "Mommy Wars" were all over the news. The Today Show was discussing it as I got ready. NPR was covering it during my commute.

And I thought...really? We've got to do that bit, eh?

The Mommy Wars are real...if you pay attention to them.

I've gotten over this war.

It will wear you down to a little stub-0f-a-mommy if you care too much about this particular war. It's a war that I am particularly and proudly apathetic regarding. But I guess I must rise from apathy and write about this issue.

Sure, I had some stay-at-homes do the bitchy thing at me when the girls were in grade school. I had some people ask how I could put my kids in day care. And I've seen don't-stay-at-homes be very snobby to people who make the choice to be with their kids. I've seen the don't-stay-at-homes obnoxiously express that the stay-at-homes had the responsibility to lead all the Girl Scout events because Mrs. Important had a job. Ugh.

Every single one of these things would make me crazy if I spent too much time thinking about it. And the employers who wonder whether they should hire and promote women because they're just going to chose to stay home with their kids eventually? Well, they REALLY make me crazy. (Yeah. It still happens. All. the. time. If I had a dollar for every time I heard, I recruiting and trained her and then she went and had a baby.)

But I don't happen to believe that one position is better than the other. I believe we all make choices for ourselves and our families. We are the best at deciding what is right for our family's life.

I respect the decision of women to be at home with their kids. I also understand the decision and sometimes the need to work outside the house. But does this election really have to be about that issue? I'm thinking that national security, the economy and energy--just to name a few--are the primary issues we need to address.

So while I'm usually apathetic on this issue, all this talk about Palin and whether she can do the job because of her family, is pissing me off.

First, let me get one thing straight. I disagree with Palin's politics. Completely. I would NEVER vote for her. But I respect what she's done in her life. I respect her ability to succeed in the way she sees best for her and in light with her own beliefs. She does live her beliefs. I can respect that, even if I don't agree with her particular brand of fabric softener.

Now that I've gotten that out there, I have to add that I laughed hysterically when she was selected. I laughed bitchily at her kids' names until I read up on them and then I kinda like them (except Track; Track is just weird). And I laughed quietly when I heard about her pregnant daughter. I laughed on this third occasion because it seemed that the Republicans had been caught with their pants down again. (And, yes, yes, I know I can't claim pantsdownedness actually has any political affiliation with it. Dems do it too.) But then I realized what I was laughing at and I promptly slapped myself upside the head. HARD. Because that poor girl is caught in a glare that is not of her own making. Sure she went and got herself knocked up. But she gets to live the life of "Juno" in front of the nation, instead of quietly in her small Alaskan town.

And how ironic is it that both Bristol and Juno are places in Alaska? To quote the brilliance of Juno, Bristol gets to be the national "cautionary whale".

It is her mother--her mommy--that put her there. I don't understand that at all.

But I also do not understand asking whether Palin can do the job because she has this family. She has five kids (one of who is out on his own), including a special needs baby. Does that mean she cannot do an important job and be a mother? No. It does not. It would be tough. It would be a juggling act. But if she gets the job (God forbid...I'm knocking on wood), I hope she handles it well. I hope she can do the juggle with the family. I will also hope that she fails spectacularly in her politics. But I, for one, will not wish that she does anything to further ignite the Mommy Wars. Because that war just need to be over.

We need a Mommy Truce. I wave the Mommy White Flag.

Today is a political house. (I took the pic in D.C. on the 4th, last summer.) Now I've got to go watch her speech and see what there is to learn about her particular brand of fabric softener.