does it count if you just think of homicide?

So how many of you have had that experience when, at bedtime, your kid blurts out, "Hey Mom? I need three toilet paper tubes for school tomorrow." You KNOW they have been told to bring these tubes in WEEKS ago, but, of course, they don't remember until the night before the last day possible.

And so you march off, unroll three tubes of toilet paper and make your family deal with unrolled toilet paper in a pile on the bathroom floor for the next however many days.

Maybe it wasn't toilet paper tubes in your experience. Maybe it was two dozen brownies....or an extra large round oatmeal box (yeah, I had that one happen too. I still have all that oatmeal in the plastic bag in my pantry. Which reminds me--ewwww--I seriously need to throw that away. That was TWO years ago. Don't worry, no one in my house actually eats REAL oatmeal. They prefer the apple-cinnamon kind that comes in the little pouches), or a $140 graphing calculator or new black shorts for gym class. Whatever. They just have to have it TOMORROW or they will get a failing grade.

Well, Younger took that scenario to a new level. She came home from school all excited about what she is doing in her Performance II class (just think of it as drama). They are lip syncing. They have to pick a clean song, choreograph it, come up with costumes and perform in small groups.

Since I'm a certifiable costume geek (seriously, I've been sewing costumes since I was about 12--Halloween, plays, church stuff, whatever! I love it.), Younger was blathering at me about what she was going to wear. But since she is almost-14 and I am not allowed to have an opinion about anything, I wasn't really listening to her.

I nodded at the appropriate times and said, "Sounds good, hun."

She said something about a mini-skirt and sparkly stuff and high heels. She's being a Brittney Spears wanna-be with a unibrow. Yeah, I know. That's why I wasn't really listening. (And no, her belly button and boobs WILL NOT be hanging out. I did check out that part.)

So the only suggestion I made was, "You should probably wear leggings under your jean mini-skirt so no one can look up your skirt while you are on stage." The mere thought of flashing the entire middle school horrified her and she agreed. However, I noticed she did manage to roll her eyes while agreeing with me. I suppose agreeing with mom burned her soul and eye-rolling was the only way to pacify the burn.

Anyhoo...flash forward about 1 hour (during which hour we weren't really doing anything...ok, I was attempting to lawyer...but SHE wasn't doing anything except holding down the couch)...we are driving to go see the SYTYCD show.

Younger says, "By the way, Mom, I'll need those leggings tomorrow."

Um. HELLOO??? Tomorrow? We are headed to a show...we won't be back home until close to 11! HELLOO?

She says, "Well, maybe we can stop at Wal-Mart on the way home?"

Did you hear that really loud scream ring in your ears, oh, say about 5:30 last night? Um hm? It was me.

So after the show, we arrive at the Wal-Mart at 10:55 p.m. We find the leggings after trekking through the accessories and sock/panty hose areas, finally locating them in the way-back of the teen section (which is where I told her to start, but remember, I know nothing). We make it home by about 11:15.

This morning, as Younger is packing up her bag of costume items, I ask, "Do you have the make-up you need for Performance?" She says, "Oh, I don't need the make-up today. We don't actually perform until tomorrow."

As I stand there sputtering and splurting, turning varying shades of puce and purple, it dawns on her that she was a tad bit inconsiderate on the whole legging-front. So she says, "I just wanted to be ready, Mom. Aren't you always telling me I'm supposed to plan ahead?"

She is really lucky her time on the face of the earth didn't end right then and there.

It's a jail house.