I'm supposed to be preparing for tomorrow's hearing right now...so a quick query from a mother of teens.
Would you put your daughters on birth control if you knew they were going to have sex? And how would you decide to do that?
P.S. Not really thinking this is a true dilemma in my life right now. I'm just tossing out one of those issues that freaks all you parents of young 'uns. You see, I can read all your responses tomorrow night in my Memphis hotel room.
14 comments:
Wow. Hm. Well, I wanted to go on birth control as a teen to regulate my period, honestly. And my mom was totally cool with it, even though I'd been sexually active previous to that (don't freak out, please). She just never got around to getting me to an OB/GYN. You should have a talk with each of them when you think the time is right. Explain to them that, obviously, putting them on bc is NOT permission to go out and do the dirty. Explain the pros and cons, and get their feedback. Regardless, now that they've each hit puberty, a visit to the OB/GYN is probably a good idea.
Yup.
When I knew my eldes was even entertaining the idea of sex I ran her to the doc got her on the pill AND bought her a box of condoms. I told her this in no way was me saying it is ok in anyway shape or form that it was ok for her to have sex (I knew she would not like the Dr. exam in the first place) but I wanted her well informed and well prepared.
We actually had a very nice talk about everything about sex. Her one question that sticks with me is one about the condums I got her. I had told here that these would be her best friend. She first said why does she need them if she is on the pill. I explained that the pill is not fully effective (she herself was a pill baby) AND condums would help protect her from whoever the person she decided to have sex with was with in the past. Her response to that was, I thought guys did not like to wear these. My response to her was then they do not want to have sex with you. I told her to be strong on this point as she really did not want to get VD or something worse.
We have had several conversations on this topic over time and I am glad I did what I did as she continues comming to me with "sex" "boyfriend" questions/discussions. Even ones I really do not want to have, but continue to do to keep communications going.
Absolutely.
However, I would do everything in my power to make sure that child knew that just because I provided them access to whatever form of birth control was necessary, it was not me condoning what they may or may not be doing, and then carry on the conversation by letting them know that having sex wasn't a way to keep a relationship/have because "everyone else is doing it"/anything else I can think of.
I'd say I would forcefully suggest she go on it no matter what you think her prospects are or have been. That meaning lead the horse to water (the doctor) and hope she drinks.
Obviously the more you insist on something to a teenager the less likely it will happen.
I like mdx3mom's story above-- we should all hope for things to work out that fluidly.
I have decided you have been sent by the Devil, to cloud my future with worries about my children...*sigh*
I don't think I will get much of a say in this one. Given the Swede's European take on all things sexual, my guess is she and the Monkey will be talking about these things with regularity.
I'm going to hang myself now...
yes. yes. yes. that's all I'm gonna say.
The wife went on the pill in college, not because we were "active" (damn Catholics), but because all her roommates were on the pill and had different, ah, dates. It really messed with her cycle. The SIL was on it in HS to control acne (as I recall), I'm sure she had some sticky fumblings as well.
Short story long, the Wife and I are taking the same approach as mdx3mom.
Absolutely!
Although I would be totally freaked out about it. But knowing how early I was sexually active *sigh* I'd do whatever it takes to protect her from getting pregnant.
I also like mdx3mom's approach.
LALALALA
(that's fingers in ears)
I can't hear you...
I think I might just give it to her without her knowing and just tell her its a vitamin.
Just kidding- but I would say definitely, yes. That and condoms.
Yep, I would. I would do my utmost to be unlike my mother, in spite of the fact that I already failed my first test.
Last winter, Miss America saw a tabloid cover "Jamie Lynn Spears PG" and asked me if it was true. AND I LIED. I said, "Oh... those magazines make stuff up all the time."
So I've already used up my free-pass screw up. I'd do it.
I'm going to be the odd man out here........
No, I wouldn't "put" my daughter on birth control. My view is, if you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to take care of the birth control for yourself.
And, my daughters are 16 and 19, so that's how it's really going down here.
yes.
my mom tried to get me on birth control when i was sixteen and in love. thing was, i wasn't having sex. and she didn't believe me! it went back and forth until finally she said, well, why aren't you?
i'm pretty sure neither of us thought the chat would end like that.
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