I appreciate that you are trying to help me make friends. That's really nice of you. But there's a little issue I need to raise with you. You keep suggesting that I befriend a certain LeeAnn B.
For the love of all that keeps me sane and pleasant, please stop making this suggestion.
You see, LeeAnn B. is Car-man's high school/college ex-girlfriend. They were together for something like, oh say, five years. And while I think she ended the relationship, it seems to me that she's never quite gotten over the fact that he moved on. Specifically, that he moved on to me . . . that we've spent the last 21+years together . . . that we've been married for 19 1/2 of those years.
Facebook, I have been putting up with LeeAnn hanging on for long enough, haven't I? Early in our marriage there were a few middle of the night calls. (Ugh.) But I suppose we are all entitled to a few drunk-dialing moves back in the 80's, when we were in our 20's. So I forgave her.
When she moved from Nebraska to San Diego, where we had moved, I got a little more concerned. But it wasn't too long before we were having babies and I just kind of forgot about her. Then, after we moved back to the Midwest, I noticed that she located him on Reunion.com or one of those sites. You know . . . whatever. I'm not really the jealous type. He's my husband. He's a good husband. I have no fear that he'd cheat on me with her.
But, Facebook, tell me the truth. Shouldn't LeeAnn get over it already? Move along? Life forward and all that?
So I suppose you can now understand, Facebook, why I don't really need you suggesting that I befriend this woman. I know why you're doing it and all. It's to punish me for setting up Car-man's Facebook page. He wasn't interested in you and I made him join. So, to a degree, I understand. It was just karma biting me in the butt when, within something like four days after I set up his account with you, he had a friend request from LeeAnn.
When she friended him the precise words that ran through my brain were, "Stalker much?" Then my brain said, "No duh," and "Well, what did you expect?" and "Serves you right" in very quick succession.
Anyhow. Facebook, I know that LeeAnn friending Car-man isn't your fault. They didn't go to high school together and they don't have any common Facebook friends, so I know you didn't suggest to LeeAnn that she befriend CarMan because "he's new to Facebook" or some such Facebook gibberish. I know this was just LeeAnn stalking him once again.
But just do me a favor and knock off suggesting that I befriend LeeAnn. I don't need to see her holding-an-ankle-biter-dog-sitting-on-a-beach-at-sunset photo on my page every other time I log on to stalk my teenage children.
Okay?
M'kay.
Glad we got that settled.
Otherwise? I lurve you, Facebook.
With all my heart,
Laggin
It's Facebook's home.
16 comments:
okay, all that detail left my memories. the concept of Facebook trying to get you two to be friends is funny. but, with detail, maybe not so much.
he had to go and be a nice guy and accept her friendship huh? he just couldn't respond with a "get the f*ck away from me psycho!" huh? darn him all anyways.
(btw, facebook did think that I wanted to be friends with that boy from the off-campus fraternity with the girlfriend that I just couldn't stay away from... oh yeah and also be friends with the girl friend who is now his wife too. silly Facebook.)
One more reason that I don't do facebook. Despite the nudging I get from my neighbor and my sister.
My husband is Facebok friends with some girl he went to high school with who he had a crush on. Perhaps it's silly, because I know this man well enough to know he'd never, ever do something stupid on me, but I told him it kind of made me uncomfortable and he was respectful of my comments. Kind of a different hand than what you've had to deal with with that woman, because Wow! She sounds like she absolutely typed his name in Google daily for this!
Facebook is such a muckraker.
OK, only on blogger, not on facebook, I can admit that I am facebook friends with the boy I never quite recovered from.
However, since I was the last woman he ever dated, and that was in the 80's, I think our facebook friendship is pretty harmless.
LeeAnn actually moved to San Diego? That is just creepy.
I'm trying REALLY REALLY hard not to say I told you so. (ok, I'm not trying at all - I've said it about like 54 times in the last say 13 minutes, but it doesn't count because you can't hear me.)
Haven't I tried to warn you time and time again about Facebook? In fact I think I wrote "Facebook goes against everything the internet stands for, lies, deceit, debauchery and of course, anonymity." Life is too short to tell people to fuck off twice. Kick Facebook to the curb.
Ah Facebook, where I keep getting friend request from people I am supposed to remember from HS. Now, don't get me wrong...I found some folks I haven't heard from in a couple years, and it was cool, but if I haven't even SPOKEN to you in the past 20 years AND you still live in our hometown...I probably wasn't looking for you that hard.
I love FB too but some of the people it brings up from your past can be disturbing. It's like your two worlds (the older you and the younger you) are in direct conflict with each other. I think there is a way you can block people from seeing your profile.
FB keeps wanting me to be friends with your brother. I'm not sure why.
Oh, and I peeked at Little Ms. San Diego Stalker (at least she still lives there) and, quite frankly, you're cuter.
which is why i lasted three months on facebook and then deleted it for fear that one of my thousands and thousands of ex lovahs would hunt me down. oh, i kid. but i did quit facebook.
Facebook has a twisted sense of humor.
FB wanted me to be friends with your brother, but it finally gave up.
The last time I saw your brother, the two of you were trying to kill each other over a box of marshmallow peeps. It's been a while.
I am one of those facebookers who cannot say no if someone asks to friend me. Even if I haven't spoken to them in years and we weren't really very good friends before. *sigh*
miko made fun of me, but then he totally friended someone he said he wasn't going to, so I tortured him about it.
My past just isn't interesting enough, for any of this to happen to me...
I've decided to give Facebook a rest. I can only handle a couple obsessions at a time, and currently blogging and vodka are top of my list.
I too joined Facebook to spy on my kids...only to discover they were too smart for that and have all their groups set as "private."
I have a grand total of 3 FB friends. And yup, one is my high school boyfriend. He found me. Using my maiden name as a form of disguise didn't work out.
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