and the dam breaks

Here are Eldest's grades (discretion be damned):

Band 93
Theology II 71*
World Literature 52*
Math Lab 100 (this is the class that's keeping her from failing geometry)
World History 77
Latin 60*
Geometry 74.24*
Home Room 100

The grades with the star make her "ineligible" at her school. Ineligible is one grade below a 66.5 or two grades below a 74.5.

So my deal is...she's grounded until she's eligible. Fair enuf. And? I really don't give a rat's ass about fair at this point. I also alerted the school that she told me she thinks she can't get her grades up so she's pretty much quitting any effort (as if anyone would believe she was putting forth any effort).

The real problem is that she's been "sick" a lot and then hasn't been turning in her make-up work. Some of the sickness is real, some of it imagined. And right now she's really, truly sick. But that sucks because she's already missed so much school we're getting letters from the Dean of Students saying, "Eldest is missing too much school. If she misses much more, it will begin to affect her grades." Really? Has dude LOOKED at her grades? Do they give negative grades?

So then Eldest and I have a couple of bizarre text exchanges today. (And, NO, I should be texting with my kid during the school day. Bad mommy. But this whole damn post is pretty much about my failures.)

First this over the lunch hour:

Eldest:

What was my ACT composite score?

[She took the ACT when she was 12 through a program with Duke University. I'm telling you; this kid is smart.]

Me:

I don’t remember. Why? Your composite wasn’t very high because of math and science. Your English was a 21 or 22, I think. Your math was like 13.

[For reference, the English grade put her in the 60th percentile of high school seniors when she was 12.]

Eldest:

I scored higher this year. Composite 21, with the estimate that I’ll score 22-26 on the actual ACT (that’s selective or highly selective college scores) and was told that I should be in education or visual arts (big surprise. =P)

[She took the PLAN test this year, which is like a pre-ACT.]

Me:

No surprise there, kiddo. You are a VERY smart person. Why are you the only one who doesn’t know that? Congrats. *smooch*

Then, after lunch she was meeting with the SIT team--that's Student Intervention Team (I joke that it's the Student In Trouble Team). This meeting was the result of my message to the school. That meeting resulted in this exchange:

Eldest:

I just talked to the SIT team and Mr. K says that he doesn’t want me to come to school tomorrow if I have a temp tonight, and it won’t count for absences. He says you can call him if I’m still sick tomorrow to confirm.

Me:

Ok but if you don’t go and don’t immediately make up the work, I’ll probably take your phone. And I don’t care if your teachers don’t tell you about your make-up work.

[She's always BSing me that she can't do her make-up work because the teachers won't tell her what it is.]

Me:

Oh, and thanks for telling them I sent you to school with a fever. I’m sure you won’t mind when I tell them you cheat on your math homework.

[I busted her for copying someone's homework. And, as for the fever part, read the rest of the story below.]

Eldest:

They made me mom.

Eldest:

Sorry mom. They asked. I have a plan worked out with the SIT team about my grades and its going to work, as long as you don’t stop it form working. and by the way? . . .

Me:

Right. I regularly screw up your grades. wth?

Eldest:

. . . before you get too mad, I suggest you go check my grades, mom. theo went from 62 to 71. yea. so. thanks. love you, talk to you tonight.

Me:

That’s great. Glad to hear it.

Eldest:

You said, “I don’t care what your teacher say about make up work” that’s messing with the SIT plan. just. yea.

Me:

You are in no position to negotiate with me. You’ll follow the SIT plan at school. You’ll also work with me. My punishment will be different than theirs.

Eldest:

Whatever. sorry mom. I’ll go go school weather or not I have a temp. sorry I told you, just forget it.

Eldest:

I knew better. sorry. I have to go. I’ll talk to you tonight or whenever.

Me:

Stay home if you’re sick. But do the make-up work. TIMELY.

Eldest:

You’ll get mad. Its simply not worth it. Better to be sick at school where people aren’t gonna get mad than at home with you pissed off at me.

Me:

Whatever. I’m pissed because (a) you can’t be trusted to do your work and (b) I think you stay home sick when you aren’t that bad off and then are screwed when you are sick. Like now.

Me:

Geometry went up too. That’s good to see.

Eldest:

Okay. Fine. Mom. Just stop. Thanks. Sorry. I’ll go to school tomorrow, just stop freaking out. Sorry.

Me:

No freaking implied. Good job on the geometry.

Eldest:

Your mad and upsetting me therefore freaking

Ok. That? Right up there? That is NOT part of my best parenting ever. But I am sick and tired of this. And, yes, I'm pissed. I'm paying seven-frigging-thousand dollars a year to have her screw around. She can pretty much fail for free in the public school. So what you've just read is my version of pissed-off-parenting. And it's not very pretty or nice or smart. It was, however, pretty damn honest.

As for the sending her to school sick part (and, yea Tonks, you should totally get busted by the administration along with me!) Last night I did tell her to go to school.

She called me to get her from school part way through the day yesterday. Because I didn't believe her, I tested her. I said that I couldn't come but she should call her Dad and see if he could come. She declined to do this, so I figured she wasn't very sick. Then she texted her Dad after school and said she was staying after to help with costumes for the musical and a friend would bring her home. Doesn't sound too sick, does it?

Thus, when she did the whole "I'm so sick routine" at bedtime, there was no sympathy to be found in our house. None. The ole' can in the pantry marked "Parental Sympathy" had run completely, bone dry. Not a drip left.

So what does the little shit (yea, I went to "little shit") do? She tells the administration that I made her go to school with a fever. Argh. If you don't have school age kids yet you don't know that this is a REAL no-no.

I am tired. Exhuasted, really. This crap is wearing me into a little nub of a mommy.

Oh. And if you read this whole thing? Sorry. I just needed to rant now that the dam of my anger over this situation is breaking.