When the clerk at Wal-Mart says, "Did you find everything you need?"
She does not want you to answer, "Do you happen to know anything about a borderline personality disorder?"
You need to just choke out the words, "Yes, thank you."
And when the lady you just sort of know is working with you at a charity thingy--that you only went to because you needed to get out of your own head and you're not such a good lawyer right now--asks, "How are you?"
Do not say, "My daughter is in the hospital because she's been talking about suicide."
Instead, just go to work, avoid people in the hall and try to attend to a few smoldering items.
(Oh and talk to your true friends A. LOT. Thanks to virtu-friends for your support here. And to all you RL friends who read here but don't comment...who have been calling and texting and sending me messages. Thank you. You keep me sane. The words "thank you" are tiny and insufficient. I wish I could make them huge and warm and all huggy.)
10 comments:
A "thank you" from you is huge and warm and all huggy. Know that we are sending lots of huge, warm huggies to you and your family.
Hang in there.
My thoughts are with you and your family. From your Wal-Mart trip, I thought I'd share with you a book I'm reading that might help make you feel a bit better... it's called "Get Me Out of Here: My recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder" by Rachel Reiland... it's in the psych section at Barnes and Noble. I'm not sure if that's what's going on, but it's a survival story written by this girl that had BPD and how she overcame it.
<3
So sorry.
Just caught up with current events...it is so painful to watch loved ones being harmful to themselves.
You've got her in a safe place where she will have to start looking at herself, without boys dominating her opinion of herself.
It's scary for everyone involved, but eventually she will grow and know that you were doing everything you could, all along the way.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
It's a long road you're on. But you're not alone and you are strong. You will all be ok.
Hugs.
Hi; I wandered over from FADKOG's blog.
Just wanted to stop in and give you a quick e-hug. We've had two of our 8 kids diagnosed w/ BPD, so I have some idea (in general; not in the specifics) of what you're dealing with.
What you say about your 'true friends' is absolutely key. Find out who they are (which, thankfully, won't take long), and stick tight to 'em. . .
It's times like this where your true friends show themselves... and the rest? Well, you didn't really need them anyway.
And you're right... most people who ask how you are, don't want to hear anything other than "fine, okay, good, and you?". But when your heart is hurting this bad, sometimes you just need to get it out - and you find yourself answering honestly even when you know you shouldn't.
You, and your family, WILL get through this. Keep venting here and to your friends... it helps.
I am well-versed in the art of painting a pretty smile on your face for the world to see despite all the broken pieces of your soul hidden deep down inside. Just remember, it's okay to cry and scream and rage at the world around you. Just as long as your blessings always outweigh the plagues, everything will be fine.
We are defined, we are shaped by the obstacles and tragedies that we survive and overcome. You and yours will survive this, and you will all be stronger for it, and the clouds will recede and the sun will shine again.
I am proud to call you a friend even if it is virtual.
When you feel like a road trip we can do coffee again! Half way this time, or maybe a road trip would be good for me ....since things HERE are not so great.
I'm a sparse reader and just got caught up now. I hope you and your family are getting plenty of support and that things are moving in a generally better direction. My thoughts are with your daughter.
and thank you. for sharing all this as always. i hope it splits all the ickiness into a many many pieces...
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