circles

Have you seen the news stories of the Navy pilot from the first Gulf War whose remains were just recovered? His initials are SS. (I won't use his name here as I don't want Google to link this entry.) That story hit me really hard. You see, SS was among Dave's best friends when they were fighter pilots in the Navy.

Dave--my friend with brain cancer--who is currently in Hospice.

As I understand his story, when Dave graduated from college he did two things: marry the love of his life--"E"--and join the Navy to become a pilot. This would have been at the height of the Cold War...1980. He went to Top Gun. Yes. Really. He was that good. He flew off aircraft carriers and lived around the world for 8 years.

Two of his best buddies in the Navy were SS and X. I think he told me their call-names were Spike, Ice (Dave) and Buddy. Sounds like Top Gun, the movie, doesn't it? I can see that in Dave, even if it was buried beneath all the lawyer stuff in the years we've been friends.

By the late 80's, two of these men were headed for Navy careers. Dave left the Navy for law school in 1988. He graduated from law school the same year I did, but from a different school. That's how we became friends. We ended up at the same firm, in the same class. We discovered we lived in the same neighborhood...same schools...same daycare.

Eventually we left that firm and each joined another firm within months of each other. That firm is where our friendship grew. Where we discussed our kids, our careers, the Navy, the war, politics, our marriages--one of my favorites was when he described to me how his cancer diagnosis brought him so much closer to E, his wife--we talked about everything. We talked about SS. The fear that he was caught and tortured. The strain on SS's kids and wife, especially since she had remarried. After all, the Navy said SS was dead--K.I.A. Later they changed their mind. She suddenly wasn't a widow, even though she had married "X". Can you imagine?

So the news about SS worried me but I also knew that, to the military-side of Dave's brain, this meant SS hadn't suffered at the hands of the enemy.

As I was processing the news, I was with my family and told them about it. Cutting straight through any grief and with startling clarity, Eldest said, "Don't worry, mom. Dave needs a friend in Heaven and now we know he'll have one."

He's not in heaven yet. But picturing Dave and SS having a few Top Gun days together again is a nice thought. Dave isn't gone...I suspect there is a week or more left...but this image will make it easier when he is.

Coincidentally, Dave's son--who is also SS's Godson--is graduating from Officer Candidate School this week. He is a Marine. And like his father and Godfather, he will make this country proud.

Circles. Interesting how themes repeat in life, isn't it?