This moment can hereinafter be referred to as the "Esquire Idiot" moment.
I was in court for a pretty big hearing. I had to get up at 3 a.m., leave at 4 a.m. and drive four hours for this hearing. On one particular issue, I would be arguing lead.
This meant I was keyed up. My brain was hopping. I was ready.
As the Judge announced the argument schedule, I was set to argue second. My argument went well. The Judge seemed rapt. While I would always like it to be so, it ain't always so with some judges. This one seemed prepared, smart and attentive. That's really all you can ask from a Judge.
During opposing counsel's arguments, he started saying stuff that was not technically accurate. I needed a copy of a particular contract...conveniently located in my briefcase...to locate the information wherein I would set him straight. I had him. I knew he was wrong. And what I needed, I actually had with me...again, this ain't always so.
I just needed my briefcase, located under the bench upon which I was seated. Um...ok...located under the guy sitting next to me on the bench upon which I was seated.
In my excitement over getting to pin this turd of an opposing counsel to the wall, I looked at the lawyer sitting next to me and said:
Excuse me, I just need to reach between your legs for a moment.
Yes. Read that again. Let it sink in.
Sh*t. I am an idiot.
14 comments:
Well, at least you said excuse me. Because if you hadn't that would have been just plain bad manners.
(snort)
That's hilarious! What was his reaction??
I think you made his day! Do tell, what was his reaction?
That's hilariously perfect! Isn't it crazy that whenever we start to settle into our egos, there's a lesson in humility just waiting around the corner?
Well, luckily...I knew the guy. He's on my side in this case. He was busy trying to get out of my way...so we didn't really have to make eye contact. And there was NO WAY I was looking him in the eye at that moment. I mumbled something like, "Um... Uh. You know what I mean. The agreement is in my briefcase."
Too bad it wasn't your opposing council, then you really would have thrown him.
Haha!
I would loved to have seen the look on his face!!!
tee hee!!
Best lawyer story I've heard in a while!! Miss you!
Oh Leslie that's hysterical... I love it. Classic foot-in-mouth statement.... but look, what a great story for your blog. :-)
AWESOME! I can only his imagine his surprise and glee. :)
Sorry for your embarrassment, but that is hilarious. :)
Yep, that's Leslie, opens her mouth only to change feet
Glad he was on your side. Here in Arkansas, we aren't used to people saying, "Excuse me," before they reach...
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